Paulo Coelho Says “Follow Your Heart”, Pisses Me Off

I should know by now to distrust a novel that declares it will “CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER” and has discussion questions at the back.

At first glance The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho seems like a story I would like. A young shepherd in Spain has a vision and sets off on a journey to Egypt to find a mysterious treasure that awaits him, learning along the way that his goals are possible even if everyone around him says they aren’t. I’ve done my share of dream-chasing and I love a good quest story, so I should have eaten this up.

But while I did read the whole thing in one evening, Coelho only managed to annoy me. First of all, he’s so determined to shoehorn a lesson into every scene that I can’t immerse myself in the journey. It also makes it seem like Coelho isn’t sure what his point is. Should the shepherd trust strangers or shouldn’t he? Does the crystal merchant need to take that pilgrimage to Mecca or not? And why is each nugget of wisdom explained to me like I’m an eight-year-old no matter which character is talking?

They’re such silly obvious lessons too. “Say, everybody gets scared when faced with danger! We’re not so different after all!” “I was complaining about carrying my coat before but now it’s cold! I need to be ready for change!” “Wow, our caravan takes many detours, but we’re always going to the same destination!” Um yes, that is generally how you try to cross a desert, genius.

Then there’s this idea that if you wholeheartedly pursue your “Personal Legend” and want it badly enough, the whole universe will conspire to help you achieve it. Simple as that, huh? So if I get hit by a bus tomorrow, it’s because I wasn’t listening to my heart enough and the universe couldn’t be bothered with me?

And while we’re on the subject, is Coelho saying it’s never the right decision to give up a dream for someone else’s sake? When the shepherd meets the love of his life out in the war-torn desert, he’s all but scolded for thinking that she might be more important than some unknown treasure in Egypt and maybe he should stay and protect her instead of getting himself killed. No, she needs to be a good woman and wait patiently while her man chases his destiny, because her Personal Legend began and ended the moment he showed up.

Hmph.

Finally, the lame it-all-comes-full-circle ending made me want to throw something, but at least I can comfort myself that the shepherd gets the shit kicked out of him first.

I am now cheering myself up, so to speak, by reading Barbara Ehrenreich’s Bright-Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America.