Inside the Beltway

Beltway.

The May 14-20 edition of the New Zealand Listener ran a profile piece on Gerry Brownlee, our rather tactless Minister for Economic Development and the man in charge of the Canterbury Earthquake Recovery Authority (CERA). When questioned about some of the rumours and criticism surrounding his performance so far, Brownlee replied that the media fuss is "Wellington beltway rubbish".

As someone who watches a fair amount of American cable news, my first reaction was "Ha ha, Wellington has a beltway." As someone who lives in Wellington, my second reaction was "Wait, no we don't."

Not so much.

Of course I had to fire up Google Maps and Wikipedia and get to the bottom of this pressing issue. Sure enough, it turns out that “inside the beltway” is often used by Kiwi commentators to describe out-of-touch political squabbling in Wellington, despite the fact that our capital city has nothing similar to Interstate 495 in Washington D.C.

We have the Wellington Inner City Bypass. We have the InterIsland Ferry Terminal. We have the Terrace Tunnel, and numerous other examples of transportation infrastructure. But no beltway.

It’s a bit silly to pretend that New Zealand politics are anywhere near the influence and self-importance of American politics, but it doesn’t bother me too much. I suspect that the phrase is used in that tongue-in-cheek way that Kiwis are so good at – our tiny capital taking the piss out of Big Bad Washington.

It’s certainly much better than pretending that Wellington is Los Angeles. “Wellywood”, you guys? Really?